By: Vidal D’costa –
You know the soul, the essence, and the passion that goes into creating a TV show? I wonder how remakes of the same manage to lose that soul and essence and somehow only end up resembling a bland, hollow shell of the original despite a majority of the same ingredients that they’ve ‘borrowed’ from the original. That’s a mystery that’ll always leave me confounded.
Anyway, enjoy this list of six TV show remakes that nobody asked for, nobody cared about, and nobody should’ve greenlit in the first place…
1) IT Crowd US remake- Six pack
This is the second worst idea that NBC executives ever greenlit. The first one being ‘let’s give Lilly Singh a late night comedy talk show!’.
To put it in tech terms- this remake is a bug-ridden simulation and just like Richmond the Goth, it, too, should’ve been stashed away in a boiler room somewhere and should’ve never seen the light of day!
Also the casting director must’ve been high if they thought Jeff Winger could play a nerd. It’s Joel McHale for fuck’s sake. He’s only believable when he plays himself, a hot guy, or the hot older brother of the nerdy character.
Also I knew that fuckwit Graham Linehan would sell out. Thank God and Noel Fielding’s ghost that this remake was cancelled after one unaired pilot episode.
Mini Drinking Game
Down a Shot: each time Richard Aoyade nails his role of Moss, a character he also played in the original. He is honestly the only saving grace of this show and he’s basically just replicating everything he did in the original without trying too hard to come across as a giant nerd like Joel McHale does (no offense, McHale, but you were only good in Community, mate).
2) Taskmaster US- Five Beers
There is an entire Reddit thread comprising of Taskmaster fans who agree that Reggie Watts just wasn’t the right choice to fill the big boots of the cynical and sadistic host of this beloved UK game show originally played by comedian Greg Davies and co-hosted by Lil Alex Horne who reprises his role in the American remake. And yes, we all collectively believe that Conan O’Brien, whose comedic stylings, height, as well as his put-on sadistic demeanor (just watch O’Brien’s late night sketches featuring him and his employees) most closely resemble that of Greg’s, probably would’ve been a much better fit. Just saying.
Getting back on track, there have been many decent remakes of the original that have won hearts in their respective countries such as in New Zealand (this version even featured a cameo from Greg ‘Taskmaster’ Davies himself) and in Finland, rechristened in the native tongue as Suurmestari (this one put a unique twist on the show by casting a female co-host with an impeccable poker face) and even I thoroughly enjoyed those, but I dare you to sit through the bland and simultaneously annoying American remake without yawning or dying of boredom.
A musician, comedian, all round funny guy… Reggie Watts is certainly many things, but a Taskmaster he is not! Watts is so wooden and adds nothing to the remake, whereas in the original there was such charismatic banter and silly back and forths between Davies and Horne (and a palpable chemistry that transitioned into being borderline bisexual as the seasons passed by… not that I’m complaining), as well as between Davies and the contestants- a group of seasoned and genuinely funny/weird UK-based celebs and comedians such as Katherine Ryan, Aisling Bea, James Acaster, Joe Lycett, Romesh Ranganathan, Roisin Conaty, etc. You could totally also tell that Mr. Davies came from a teaching background in the way he handled the kids… ahem, I mean the contestants.
It was nothing short of refreshingly positive and infectiously fun to watch the contestants fumble around during the tasks or act like a bunch of silly kids instead of grown-ups for once. Bear in mind, I stumbled upon this show on YouTube in the midst of a gloomy pandemic and it instantly cheered me up even as the world went to hell around me!
The celebs/comedians in the remake, on the other hand, just flopped hard for me. Apart from Freddie Highmore and Ron Funches who occasionally made me smile with their antics and rebellious spirit, none of the other contestants seemed remotely interested to actually participate in the games/tasks and were utterly negative towards Alex Horne for no reason (and not in a funny way like when Greg Davies occasionally taunted Alex in the original and when the gentle Welsh giant put the little man through torturous tasks such as yanking him around on a leash like a puppet on a string for laughs).
This was a game show, alright, but let’s face it, nobody bothered to bring their A-game to it.
Mini Drinking Game
Down a Vodka Shot: each time the camera pans to Reggie Watts and he is just sitting there awkwardly and looks as if he wants to be at a stand-up gig rather than on the set of this god-awful remake. Man could use a vodka shot himself, to be honest!
Down a Shot: each time Freddie Highmore, Ron Funches, and Lil Alex Horne carry this show with their impishly silly attitude and genuinely positive, fun antics.
Bite Into a Lemon: each time Lisa Lampanelli makes your ears bleed by nagging Horne and cracking distasteful and unfunny jokes at his expense, mainly Anglophobic rants. I squirmed in discomfort as much as Alex did, by the way. Her shock jock/insult comic attitude just doesn’t fit the vibe of the show and makes her come across as vile and friggin annoying.
3) Hum Paanch Phir Se- Six Pack
First rule of original Hum Paanch: You never, ever, under any circumstances replace Ashok Saraf.
I don’t even know why a remake of such an iconic show and equally iconic characters even exists. Before Modern Family, this was the OG family to look up to in the 90s-early 2000s and Anand Mathur was our desi Phil Dunphy (with just a hint of Jay Pritchett).
Scenes of Saraf’s Anand not taking shit from the talking portrait of his late first wife who indulges in taking jabs at him from beyond the grave are still fresh in the minds of us early 2000s kids who grew up on this show.
And don’t even get me started on the iconic queen Kajal Mathur (played by Bhairavi Raichura) who taught us tomboyish girls that it was alright to be the ‘black sheep of the family’ who didn’t adhere to the stereotypical feminine ideals set by society, that it was bitching to not listen to the haters and rock those cargo shorts and camouflage jackets complete with snapback hats with élan, and was the epitome of a bad-arse chick. And I know this because I am one of those girls who still doesn’t adhere to the so called feminine ideals.
Jayashree Venkataramanan tries to recreate the magic of Kajal and she does come quite close, but no cigar. On the other hand, Sooraj Thapar just comes off as caricaturish, annoying, and brings nothing new to the role of Anand. The other cast members have a comic timing akin to dry and bland toast (not even the buttered kind).
A lot of the comedy, too, was improvised in the original whereas in the remake every single joke is unfunny, badly timed, and delivered with no sense of comic timing whatsoever. It just reeks of being try hard and even the overly used laugh track can’t salvage it.
Mini Drinking Game
Do Jäger Bombs: til all your memories of this remake fade from existence. My nostalgia just feels sullied now that I know of the remake’s existence. Ashok Saraf, we’ve failed you.
4) Gracepoint- Six Pack
David Tennant reprising his role as a grouchy detective in this American remake and putting on a heavy Southern-ish sounding American accent is the most bizarre thing I’ve ever witnessed in the 6 years that I’ve fangirled over him. As Emmett Carver (a discount version of Alec Hardy from the original), the actor just looked lost and directionless here. And let me remind you, this is the same guy who’s so passionate about his craft that he’s legit won every major award under the sun for it.
And man, was it even more so mind-numbing to get through the entirety of this show which tries so hard to be the ITV crime procedural drama Broadchurch but fails at imbibing the soul of the show, the intriguing atmosphere it created through its characters, their relationships, and their web of lies.
To add salt to the wound, the cast in this remake are basically nobodies in need of acting classes, whereas the original was comprised of actors who were either BAFTA nominees or winners and even boasted the phenomenal Oscar winner Olivia Coleman who played the sardonic detective sergeant Ellie Miller.
The scenes that were high on emotional turmoil and anguish as well as conflict in the original are reduced to mere caricaturish recreations that are almost laughable to witness due to the brood of actors who can’t act to save their lives (apart from Tennant). Let’s face it, even David Tennant fails to be the saving grace of Gracepoint. And that’s all I’ll say about that.
Mini Drinking Game
Sip Some Scotch: each time David Tennant breaks into that unintentionally funny ‘American’ accent. The drink will probably go down smoother than Tennant’s interpretation of how Americans sound like.
Down a Shot: for every laughable reenactment of the dramatic scenes from the original by a cast who aren’t worthy of reprising the original roles.
5) Hello Friends- Five Beers
This show is testament to the fact that Janice’s laugh isn’t the single most annoying thing ever.
Hello Friends? More like, Wannabe FRIENDS, amirite? (thank you, I’ll be here all day). This rip-off of a globally loved show would give YouTuber LeLe Pons’ version of the same (Amigos) a run for its money.
Hello Friends, a remake of FRIENDS is what you get when you cast famous VJs from MTV who have no acting chops whatsoever and try to bank on the fame of a universally beloved international show that’s still watched and rewatched by many. Also love it or hate it, at least the original had its funny moments and a cast with genuinely cracking comic timing such as my favourite Lisa Kudrow who even has an improv background. Hello Friends just falls flat at the comedy aspect. The cast just hams it up and have the kind of camaraderie one would expect from a bunch of department store mannequins. Heck, even from the sets alone, one can deduce that they probably filmed this remake at a deserted department store.
Although I’ll have to give credit where credit is due to VJ turned podcaster Cyrus Broacha who actually turns in a sincere performance and is cocky enough to pull off a desi Chandler.
The only common thread that one could even find between the original and the rip-off is perhaps the fact that some of its jokes (mainly the ones targeted towards the LGBTQIA+ community) haven’t aged that well. Yikes!
Also, I keep cracking myself up at the fact that if this atrocity had run for much longer, desi Rachel could’ve probably been on the other end of a triple talaq procedure instead of simply ‘on a break’ from desi Ross.
Honestly though, with a decent script, good direction, and good actors who were genuinely interested in the project (a lot of the VJs later confessed to have only acted in it for the money and since an acting job would look good on their resume and who can blame them), the possibilities for Indianized FRIENDS would’ve truly been endless!
Mini Drinking Game
Down an Espresso Shot: each time one of the cast members hams it up.
Down a Double Espresso Shot: each time desi Gunther appears on screen. He’s easy to spot, since the one thing that’s changed up from the original is that the peroxide blonde-haired coffee shop owner is replaced by a typical Indian uncle played by Kunal Vijaykar . Hey, at least they tried changing something… Not that it even adds anything of value to the show.
6) Tedi Medi Family- Four Beers
Maybe The Middle wasn’t as well known or as popular as shows such as FRIENDS or even a timeless classic like Hum Paanch, but it still didn’t deserve to be poorly replicated in the form of an Indian remake that was probably filmed on a much lower budget, and in shoddier conditions than Hello Friends was.
The actors in this Indian remake of the same have the most Tedi Medi (loosely translates to wonky and rubbish) comic timing in the history of comic timing and while Sue Heck from the original (played in an innocent and quirky way by Eden Sher) came across as an annoying sister whom you could still put up with at the end of the day despite her eccentricities, the Indian remake features such a loud-pitched and unbearable performance from Saloni Daini as Suhani Khurrana that I wouldn’t think twice before putting the latter up for adoption! She just ruined this lively and lovable character for me.
It’s pretty clear that none of the actors even bothered bringing their own originality to the roles at hand but rather tried to mimic the unmatchable talent of the original cast that comprised of household names such as Patricia Heaton (of Everybody Loves Raymond fame), Neil Flynn (of Scrubs fame) and many more. And this only made me cringe further and wish that they’d at least left this simplistic and genuinely funny show of a simplistic middle class family alone.
Mini Drinking Game
Chug til You Pass Out: it’ll save you from sitting through Suhani/Saloni Daini screaming like an utter maniac and getting on your last nerve with her frantic over- acting. Chill, girl!
Do yourselves a favour and just watch the original shows. You won’t regret it.
