The House That Drips Blood on Alex (2010) Movie Drinking Game
Down a Shot: each time Alex broods over his latest obsession- the quill/duck pen (well, for what it’s worth, at least this is a step up from his last unhealthy obsession – dry humping that poor red dress)
Down a Shot: each time the house drips blood on Alex
By: Vidal D’costa (Two Beers) –
In this no-budget horror-comedy short starring Tommy Wiseau (yes, that one), the titular protagonist Alex buys a house for cheap…cheap-cheap-cheap (sorry, it was right there). Unfortunately, his new house drips blood, and as the title suggests, it drenches nobody else in the vicinity, save for its latest victim… Ahem, resident. While this mysterious leakage doesn’t bother him in the slightest and he even mistakes the fluid for ketchup because he’s just that gullible, eventually Alex’s concerned friends coax him to get to the bottom of the Amityville-esque happenings at his new abode, leading to an unexpected revelation.
A Toast
What works in favour of this eerie outing is that it’s neither written nor directed by the Bard Wiseau himself (although it features his trademark mannerisms in the form of Easter eggs), and he is but a mere player in it instead. Thus, director Brock Laborde, along with sketch comedy group Studio 8 who are credited as writers, manage to execute a creepy albeit unoriginal concept in a more coherent fashion than Wiseau’s own ill-advised yet cult classic productions. The House That Drips Blood on Alex doesn’t meander and actually gets straight to the point while also excelling at creating an eerie and gothic tone/atmosphere on such a small budget.
Oddly enough, its shoestring offbeat production design itself felt rather befitting while adding to the charm of a short that embraces every single bizarro aspect at its disposal such as the inclusion of the perpetually perplexed Wiseau himself, and even incorporates some tongue-in-cheek humour into the narrative, in the form of the location of the house itself (Blood Street), and I found myself genuinely intrigued and spooked out by the twists in the tale, too. The movie doesn’t entirely milk the cult status of The Room either and keeps the call-backs to a minimum, only incorporating them into a comical nightmare sequence much later.
It also benefits from a committed supporting troupe consisting of Arlando Smith, Joey Greco, and Rory Windhorst who not surprisingly enough end up carrying most of the movie with their sincere performances- i.e by emoting better than the lead who on the contrary doesn’t seem to give a flying feck about making basic eye contact with his co-stars… unless it’s with a piece of furniture or with a quill/duck pen which he is obsessed with (a running joke that did elicit a couple of giggles from me). Smith and Windhorst play Alex’s concerned besties Bobby and Thomas respectively and both fit the part in looking and sounding genuinely concerned for their pal, unlike that dishonest bitch Lisa, and they simultaneously serve as pillars of support to Wiseau’s character unlike that slutty backstabber Mark, which in turn results in compelling, well-rounded character dynamics between the trio. Greco plays the (not) evil landlord who sells the house to the gullible Alex and he too is a hoot as he turns the camp factor up to eleven and leaves a (oh hi) mark with his scenery-chewing performance that’s reminiscent of a discount Tim Curry despite a limited screen time.
Beer Two
Wiseau plays a dual role as the nonchalant Alex as well as the unsettling Crypt Keeper-esque narrator of the short, and showcases that he is certainly far better utilised in self-aware comedies than in self-professed ‘dramas’ (cough, his magnum opus The Room) and not entirely a lost cause since whether by fluke or not, he certainly displays glimpses of good comic timing while delivering the few running gags, but simultaneously still displays an allergy to sounding coherent, even coming across as distant and wooden when interacting with his more natural co-stars. His various other Wiseau-isms fail to land as well and grow stale, repetitive, and annoying after the first half itself.
Also if I had a nickel for every time Wiseau died/was killed off on-screen (sorry, spoilers), I’d have two nickels… Because that’s the maximum number of movies I can endure with this eighth wonder of the world in the lead.
Verdict
Regardless of a basic/cliched premise that could have been a lot more interesting with some more fine-tuning and disregarding the presence of the least interested lead actor on the planet, The House That Drips Blood on Alex nonetheless left me hooked with its gripping, bordering on pastiche-esque storytelling and was still worth the 13 minutes I spent watching it for free on Vimeo (wanna hear something spookier still? It was uploaded 13 years ago too and has so far raked up 133k views!). It’s decent Spooky Season fare and I obviously will be looking forward with much anticipation to its spiritual successor- The House That Chris R Built on Guerrero Street.
