The Simple Life (2003-2007) TV Drinking Game
Down a Shot: each time the girls get into trouble.
Down a Shot: each time Nicole goes off on a profanity spree. You’ll be drunk & crooning to the ‘Sanassa’ song in no time.
Down a Shot: for every time Nicole enquires about someone’s age. Rather gentlewomanly of her.
Down a Shot: for every ‘That’s hot’ & ‘see ya later, bitches’… or basically any of the iconic one-liners you hear the girls utter .
By: Vidal D’Costa (Two Beers) –
Two uptown, spoilt but nice brats (Nicole Richie & Paris Hilton) are thrown headfirst into middle class families & are either left to create chaos on their own or to freak out at the thought of dealing with chaotic situations.
A Toast
I remember seeing ads of this reality show on telly a lot as a kid, although I never really got to watching it because I was a kid & I only binged cartoons up until the age of 9. Then some good Samaritan uploaded episodes of it on YouTube during the lockdown & after the first episode I was absolutely hooked!
The first three seasons were banging! Absolutely loved the concept and it helped that most of it came off as only partly scripted so the personalities of both Paris’ & Nicole’s put-on characters as well as their real personas really shined through and their interactions with everyone in the family felt oh-so-natural. From the girls’ downright absurd shenanigans (both scripted and improvised) to the family’s often appalled reactions, from Nicole’s impeccably wicked and witty natural sense of humour to Paris’ inability to keep a straight face through it all, everything was perfection.
Season 3 also focused on them trying to hold a job/internship & failing to do so via their combined ability to create chaos and had a whole lot of cute moments, especially when kids and elderly folk were thrown into the mix. I was left hella entertained and in tears from all the laughter and definitely began seeing the spoilt brats in a different light (I’d so hang with these lovable bitches). No complaints here.
Season 4 got off to a rocky start, but I gradually grew to like it for its merits. Paris & Nicole were apparently also going through a rough patch themselves during the filming of this, so the format took a complete U-turn from their usual ‘getting up to no good’ format & instead this season was all about the girls going their separate ways & staying with a family picked out for them & trying their hands at being ‘typical housewives’ (a parody of shows like Wife Swap).
I did miss Paris and Nicole’s chemistry & ability to play off each other, thus providing the laughs, but thankfully, even on her own Nicole can be a humorous & delightful misfit lil devil and Paris can still be the angelic beauty who can strut into households and steal hearts with her unorthodox methods of doing household work (the ironing eggs & toast scene is still hella iconic)
Their individual personalities really shone through in season 4 & I loved the personal growth that Nicole went through (from starting off in season one as a struggling drug addict to becoming a business-minded, independent young lady with her life almost straightened out by season 4) which was also showcased. I did hate on Paris occasionally when she was a troll to Nicole behind her back, but at the same time I can’t help but laugh, because she did make some pretty savage comebacks and it eventually led to some pretty juicy drama in the season finale.
The editing was very well done, too, so it seemed like they were still together at times. As with the previous seasons, a lot of loveable and cute moments with kids here too & an episode was dedicated to the hurdles of the LGBTQIA+ community as well. Season 4 also brought up some good points about how the media are a bunch of bloodthirsty vampires/vultures & this was highlighted by having Nicole (who was the butt of jokes in the public eye due to her weight issues) not so subtly troll them & put them down through her witty one-liners, so I’ll give it brownie points for that.
Beer Two
Season 5 was a complete disaster; rushed, unplanned and even unnecessary! I kinda wish they’d ended the show after season 4 by resolving all the conflict in that big drama- intervention episode because this last season was a total borefest for me. I couldn’t make it through this season because it was unfunny, so I ended up skipping it.
The camping scenario felt too unoriginal for me and the ‘one setting fits all’ just doesn’t fit this show which worked because of the different cultural & religious backgrounds of each new family & their various quirks/eccentricities. I also didn’t like that it had now turned into an entirely scripted affair. I missed Nicole’s dark and witty, unfiltered humour & both her & Paris seemed unmotivated throughout the season, partially because of their falling out & the fact that they were more focused on business ventures rather than shenanigans. There were sparks of them both getting on together and sparks of funny jabs at each other or at the people in charge of the camp, but the choppy and rushed editing robbed the show of its old charm and its more laid-back style.
Even the heartwarming moments seemed forced, compared to the natural way in which they were presented in the previous season, and it was clear that everything that made this show click had run its course by season 5. An unnecessary romance with that dude Hunter (who was clearly added as eye candy) really didn’t make things better. Also, of all the misogynistic, bordering on homophobic, even alcoholic, but tolerable local lads from the previous seasons who acted as the girls’ flings, Hunter is the most unbearable, unconvincing one. He had the personality of a cardboard cutout of Kim Kardashian & his attempts to ‘get Paris to like him’ were cringeworthy.
Sorry, season 5, you & I just weren’t meant to be….
Verdict
Obviously binge The Simple Life whenever you get the chance, because you only live once & this is by far a better reality show than Keeping up with the Kardashians or any of that other fake trash that’s being peddled nowadays. I just wish season 5 hadn’t ruined my memories of a really good show & a really good comedic pairing, but imma follow the grandad from the season 4 finale’s advice & stop holding grudges & just let bygones be bygones. Just pretend that season never existed.
If they ever came out with a season 6, reunion style episode, I wouldn’t mind it one bit! Hopefully the girls have patched up since.
Also, I’ve come away with quite a crush on Nicole Richie. Ms. Richie, pretty please consider having my babies. Ok, good bye & see ya later, bitches. Stay hot!
