By: Henry J. Fromage –
This week I finally had some time to catch up on a bunch of recent high profile new releases that have caught my eye.
636. Gladiator II
I’ve been earnestly awaiting this ever since the first trailer- the first Gladiator was a formative film for me when it came out. Paul Mescal plays Russell Crowe’s Maximus’s not quite as cool but cool enough son who ends up in basically the same plot as dear old Dad (pretty easy to end up in the arena, I suppose). Denzel enjoys masticating scenery as Mescal’s owner and empire-destabilizing force, and the Coliseum games are a lot of bloody fun, incorporating everything from crazed baboons to rhinos to miniature sea battles complete with sharks. Was I not entertained? I was. Three Beers.
637. Emilia Perez
You have to admire Jacques Audiard’s chutzpah, as he not just aims to make an earnestly emotional musical, but one in a language and culture not his own centered on the experiences of a marginalized gender that he also does not share. That he pulls as much of this story of a Cartel kingpin who undergoes a sex change operation and starts a new, hopefully more moral life as he does is a testament to his talent and that of all involved. It doesn’t quite always cohere thematically or story-wise, though, but damn if Karla Sofia Gascon, Selena Gomez, and particularly a career-best Zoe Saldana don’t make every moment count. Three Beers.
638. Smile 2
I liked the first Smile okay enough, if for nothing more than a creepy premise creepily delivered, but I was flabbergasted when I saw 132 minute runtime this time around. That’s overreaching for a wanna-be A24 horror, no? Well, Parker Finn has been studying up, because this one earns those comparisons in spades. Naomi Scott is superb as the latest cursed lady with a week to avoid a horrible fate, this time a pop star with plenty of other reasons for a fractured psyche, but it’s Finn’s direction and the Ari Aster-like bone-deep pessimism of the film that really grab you with no hope of letting go. Two Beers.
639. Anora
Sean Baker’s on quite the upswing as of late, and while winning the Palme D’Or is a career-capper for most folks, he’s also deeply in the Oscar race for this film as well. Mikey Madison gets a true breakout role as an exotic dancer up for more who seemingly hits the jackpot with a naive yet fun rich Russian boy who a Vegas wedding later has her living with him in his swank mansion. His multimillionaire parents and gruff Armenian bodyguards don’t take too kindly to that idea, though, and the news they’re coming to the U.S. as soon as they hear about it sends everyone on a nighttime chase across NYC. Special kudos to Yuriy Borisov, who’s carving out quite a career of sensitive skinheads. Two Beers.
640. Uprising
Park Chan-wook wrote this Netflix period piece that smashes together corrupt Korean courts, Japanese invaders, and commonfolk yearning to be free to bloody effect, but left the directing to Kim Sang-man, who has plenty of inventive visual ideas himself. More straightforward than a typical Park joint, it still has a wicked streak of violent humor that feels familiar. Stylish and pretty damn badass. Two Beers.
641. Heretic
Hugh Grant gets a role he can really sink his teeth into in this horror about a couple of Mormon missionary girls who find themselves trapped in a house of horrors with the ultimate Richard Dawkins Bro. One wishes the script was as deliciously sharp and twisted as the character he creates, but it does have a fun twist or two up its sleeve, and Sophie Thatcher and Chloe East eventually prove fitting foils to him as well. Three Beers.
642. Gladiator
I couldn’t watch the new Gladiator without first revisiting the original now, could I? Some unfortunate early 2000s slow motion aside, it totally holds up as the classic I remembered it being, with Russell Crowe delivering an iconic performance and Joaquin Phoenix adding layers to his jilted daddy’s boy villain, while the battle scenes and Coliseum face-offs may be even more epic due to their necessarily practical nature (modern CGI is no substitute for big-ass sets and real tigers). Two Beers.
643. Blitz
Steve McQueen’s latest for Apple is about Londoners trying to live amidst The Blitz, Germany’s bombing campaign against the cities of Britain. Saoirse Ronan and genuine find Elliott Heffernan play mother and son, whose mixed-race heritage already doesn’t make life exactly easy in 1940s London. It’s a paean to stiff upper lip British courage and the strength in diversity underpinning London’s culture that does very much work, but it’s also surprisingly straightforward stylistically from a director who made his bones on his genuinely unique cinematic eye. Three Beers.
644. Red One
This shit is stupid. Santa, with the apparent support of the world’s Military Industrial Complex, is real, but hidden in a fortress-like North Pole and super jacked due to all the calisthenics Christmas requires. When he’s kidnapped, though, it’s up to his bodyguard played by The Rock and a “level four naughty-lister” played by Chris Evans to retrieve him. In a lot of ways this movie knows exactly what it is, although it does have the annoying tendency to oversell punchlines, particularly the bad ones. It’s all delivered with such tongue-in-cheek self-seriousness you kind of have to admire the audacity. Not so dissimilar to Megalopolis, now that I think about it… Six Pack.
645. His Three Daughters
This Azazel Jacobs film stars Carrie Coon, Elizabeth Olsen, and Natasha Lyonne as three sisters trying to ease the imminent passing of their father in his apartment. It plays very much like a stage-play, with a limited cast of additional characters and the action driven entirely by the spiky dialogue between these three. Their past and current resentments and conflicts are revealed along the way, but never feel less than realistic or engaging due to the superb performances by all three. A true actors showcase that touches on beautiful universal truths as it unfolds. Two Beers.
646. Unstoppable
This is actually an older film- from 2018- but it’s very much akin to the Ma Dong-seok is a lovable lug who gets righteously angered and punches his way through a bunch of criminals movies that have elevated him to global stardom. It’s almost funny watching them figure out the right proportions of plot and punching in realtime during this one (current levels, 20% plot, 80% punching), where he plays a fisherman whose wife gets kidnapped by gangsters. He doesn’t like that. Awesome things happen when he doesn’t like that. Three Beers.
647. Gator
Sterling Archer’s favorite movie ever isn’t what I’d call a good movie, as a swamp-dwelling, ex-moonshine-running Burt Reynolds smirks his way across an inconsequential crime-fighting plot, but damn if he doesn’t look good doing it (and directing it- it was his debut behind the camera). Full of probably ridiculously dangerous practical stunts, tons of comic mugging, and some distinctly 70s sleaze, I’m not going to tell you that you won’t be entertained. Four Beers.
648. Swamp Thing
Wes Craven directed this dire DC Comics adaptation in what was clearly a slumming it up half of a “one for you, one for me” kind of compromise. It’s got a certain kind of rubber suit 50s monster movie charm even if it’s a direct budget, makeup quality, and corniness level replication instead of a homage. Five Beers.
649. The Return of Swamp Thing
Rare is it that the likely even cheaper sequel to a bad horror/comic book movie ends up looking better and being more fun than the original, but here we are. This movie got Ken & I on this swamp movie kick as we toured a Savannah mansion that provided some interiors for this film. It’s got a far, far better suit and general aesthetic, and a far sillier vibe more attuned to the material. Not good, exactly, but fun. Four Beers.
