By: Movie Snurb (Five Beers) –
Creepy Tales of Pizza and Gore (2014) Drinking Game
Do a Shot: every time Satan speaks.
Take a Drink: for every new short.
Do a Shot: for every moment of bad acting.
Take a Drink: every time someone dies.
Movie Review
This is an anthology horror film from 2014, around the time when the anthology horror films became semi popular for a few years. I’m thinking about V/H/S or The ABC’s of Death. There are five separate stories that are not really related; 0ne about a haunted music playlist that summons a murderous ghost, two about a Satan worshiper, one about a creature in the woods stalking two motorists, and finally the last story is about a murderous VHS tape.
A Toast
It’s like an ode to those straight to VHS horror films, low-budget, and looking like someone made them with their own video camera. It’s campy fun that has a waft of the original Evil Dead; low budget campy horror fun. To the point, there really is something in taking a vision from your mind and putting it on the screen. Crafting coherent thoughts in a way that is understandable. It’s something many people dream about doing, but only certain people can pull this off. It was also impressive to have a coherent film with such a small budget and no dialogue. The only dialogue comes from either Satan or a demon. The rest of the film has no dialogue and only diegetic sound. It’s something not used very often anymore, and is impressive when it is done correctly.
Beer Two
The first short is genuinely creepy, giving me chills a couple of times. The cheap effects are endearing and the story has a familiarity yet feels fresh. That’s what makes the rest of the film disappointing. The stories get less and less creepy. Sure, the final story is fun on a ridiculous level, but the film shows its best stuff in the first 20 minutes.
Beer Three
This film could’ve worked better if all the shorts were either super creepy or super ridiculous. The fact that they try to do both in this film just doesn’t work. The reason V/H/S & V/H/S 2 work is because all the stories are attempting to scare you. The first short is scary, but the final short is such a tonal shift it doesn’t work. If they’d would’ve done all ridiculous stories it would’ve been quite the fun B movie.
Speaking of ridiculous movie premises.
Beer Four
I like a low budget look for a horror film, which usually lends a realistic feel, making the film creepier. This film looks too cheap. It looks like someone made it for their A.V. club in High School.
Can you get much cheaper looking than this, though?
Beer Five
The acting also leaves something to be desired. Some of the actors are OK, but others are so bad it’s like watching a wall act.
HA HA HA What five stories Mark.
Verdict
The first story is creepy, the rest are lacking. It’s a fun throwback to the days of straight to video B horror films, but I recommend you watch one of those instead.
