By: Henry J. Fromage (Four Beers) –
This side-hustle of Peter Jackson (he produces for his long-time VFX supervisor Christian Rivers to direct) was one of 2018’s notable box office bombs. Maybe “notable” is the wrong word for it.
Who could forget That Guy, and, ermm, Whastherface?
It’s the dystopian future, and cities are now mobile monstrous beasts that roam the countryside looking for smaller towns and villages to devour. Maybe there’s a prophecy, or a rebel leader, or, like some mysterious secrets or something? Hugo Weaving’s in it, and I’m pretty sure he’s the bad guy. That much I know.
A Toast
Peter Jackson worked on this adaptation for some time before handing over the reins to his protege, and his fingerprints are all over this thing (I would wager an awful lot of folks who worked on this thing also drew a paycheck on at least one of the Lord of the Rings sets.
As such, it certainly does boast some compelling Steampunk dystopia world-building and visual effects-driven action choreography. I never knew that I had a particular need to see a giant city on mechanical legs devour another one, but I can go to my grave saying that mine eyes have seen these sights.
Beer Two
What Mortal Engines doesn’t have is a particularly compelling or non-derivative story. This is exactly the sort of thing the Wachowskis have been doing for the last decade or two, and feels about as essential.
It doesn’t even have Channing Tatum dogpeople, and its Eddie Redmaye cupboard is disappointingly bare.
Beer Three
Mortal Engines also never met an expository monologue it doesn’t love (this is a peak Tell-Don’t-Show-er). Which, I suppose, is one way to get all that world-building done.
Beer Four
Nor an emotional beat it doesn’t over-explain, which is unfortunate, because I’m not sure if they truly thought that audiences would connect to these characters, or were just putting this stuff in on a lark.
Verdict
Mortal Engines certainly doesn’t suffer from a lack of dystopian visual aplomb nor world-building ideas, but that’s about all it has going for it.
Mortal Engines (2019) Drinking Game
Take a Drink: whenever a new steampunk city shows up
Take a Drink: whenever an old steampunk trope shows up
Take a Drink: every time Hugo Weaving vamps
Do a Shot: for sequel dreams
