By: Henry J. Fromage and Movieboozer Staff & Contributors –
There was as much a spread in our Worst Of lists this year as our Best Of lists, but a few films couldn’t help but be common threads.
Without further ado:
10. Mufasa: The Lion King
9. Venom: The Last Dance
8. Y2K
7. Drive-Away Dolls
6. The Fall Guy
5. Apartment 7A
4. Emilia Perez
3. Tarot
2. Time Cut
1. Bagman
- Megalopolis
Interesting that we have two films about building things and merging the past with the future. Except one says it takes a village, and the other says, “Only I can do it.” K Francis.
- Borderlands
Cheap Guardians of the Galaxy rip-off. Eli at his most checked out?
- Madame Web
Look, I at least had fun with this one. Some of the time.
- If
From the mind of John Krasinski. We all should look more into whose idea A Quiet Place was.
- Tarot
I’ve never seen writers lose interest in real time.
- Argylle
Mind-numbingly stupid. It also feels longer than The Brutalist.
- Imaginary
Can’t believe I paid to see this in a theater.
- The Strangers: Chapter 1
Hits every horror film cliché without a hint of satire. Just lazy garbage.
- No Way Up
Back in my day this would just exist on the SyFy channel.
- Beautiful Wedding
Really must be seen to be believed. However, if you watch this you’ll have to watch Beautiful Disaster first.
3. Challengers
2. A Complete Unknown
1. Anora
Henry J. Fromage-
Is it possible for there to be a bad year for bad films? Too many were simply mediocre and forgettable and too few the kind of bad that makes you wonder what precisely was wrong with the filmmakers. Here’s a few that tried harder at sucking:
10. Godzilla x Kong: The New Empire: I was expecting mediocre and got shittier than I was expecting. It’s probably time to settle down on this franchise.
9. Rebel Moon: Part Two: The Scargiver: The first half of this film was pretty crap, but I was willing to give Zack Snyder a bit of the benefit of the doubt. Yeah, no, he’s all the way up his own asshole now.
8. Spermaggedon: I probably could have predicted the animated Finnish musical about the little sperm that could from Tommy Wirkola would be a bit too much, but this one really strained my patience.
7. Damaged: I don’t know what inspired me to watch this direct-to-video caliber film starring Samuel L. Jackson and Vincent Cassel, but I figured that cast would insulate this serial killer thriller from the bargain basement production values that plague this kind of thing. Nope.
6. Madame Web: Here’s one the media had a field day with. I didn’t find quite so much to hate to start with, but by the time Dakota Johnson was wheeled out as Dollar Store Professor X I understood.
5. Poolman: It’s clear that Chris Pine really, really likes The Big Lebowski. It’s also clear that Chris Pine is not capable of making another The Big Lebowski.
4. Borderlands: It’s understandable why Chris Pine took his swing, but I can’t for the life of me understand why Cate Blanchett chose to be a part of this low-rent video game adaptation from Eli Roth. Probably cut to hell when studio execs realized they had a dud on their hands, but from viewing this footage I can’t imagine a different edit doing much more for the material.
3. Nightbitch: I love both Marielle Heller and Amy Adams, and yet from the first minute it was clear this was a shameless First World Problems movie. Giving Adams literally any degree of actual obstacle or deprivation may have engendered empathy, instead of banishing it with a vengeance.
2. Drive-Away Dolls: On his own, Joel Coen teamed up with his wife and a stacked cast to deliver The Tragedy of MacBeth. On his own, Ethan Coen teamed up with is wife and a stacked cast to deliver this strikingly unfunny goof. Biggest disappointment of the year.
1. Megalopolis: Now we’re fuckin’ talking. A certified Worst Film of the Year must be the product of a clear and hubristic vision, one that Makes Choices in the face of all that is smart, decent, or logical. One that you can’t help but enjoy not despite, but because of all of its excesses and absurdities. Thank you, Francis Ford Coppola, for gifting us just such a film.
